Two Worlds
"Ahh... bandits." The first time you hear this immortal line, spoken by the baritone lead voice actor, in response to meeting a pack of wolves, you will be a little perplexed. But by the time the mounting insanity of this game reaches its fevered pitch, you will be absolutely in love with the characters.
Let's get one thing straight: Two Worlds isn't good. Not in the traditional sense, where high production values and a smart script come together with novel gameplay concepts to make an instant classic. Two Worlds is bad. Insanely bad. Ostensibly an Oblivion-like RPG in a boring faux-Britannia peopled by badly-acted wooden caricatures handing out quests to your hero like candy.
There is a lot of content to explore. There are a dozen factions to curry favor with or betray, dungeons to raid, side quests and hidden areas, and taints.
Yes, the "Big Bad" in this game is "The Taint," and the characters say it out loud over and over, and it never stops being funny.
But with a bit of interpretation, the game becomes something amazing. It is the perfect deadpan, never breaking character or winking at the audience at all, but somehow reveling in its badness. It seems to be daring you to buy into its ridiculous hero, a John Freeman for the swords'n'sorcery set.
Your hero is never far from a non-sequiter; he's a chatty hero (though never to anyone in particular) and seems to be the natural, real-world expression of the sociopathic characters from D&D games from the 1980s that were all about loot and killing. He seems to be just trundling through the world, duct-taping katanas together and riding a skeletal horse around, causing mayhem, and if you buy into that conceit, the game really does shine.
Two Worlds also brings a lot to the table in terms of novel gameplay concepts. Their handling of inventory is pretty novel (though having 255 different sets of gloves is annoying when you're trying to combine matching ones), and the world is big and full of varied quests. It just takes a particular mindset to enjoy it.
Graphics: Brown and green everywhere, and every model is edged with jaggies. 2.
Sound: Howlingly bad dialogue reading and a very limited palette of monster/attack sounds. No soundtrack to speak of. 1, or 4 Ironically.
Controls: Competent until you get on a horse. 2.
Tilt: With the right mindset, incredibly enjoyable. 4.
Overall (not an average): 5
Showing posts with label Rated M. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rated M. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Ninja Blade
Ninja Blade
From Software's title Metal Wolf Chaos from a few years back had a little bit of a cult following due to the sheer absurdity of the plot - Aliens attack, so the President of America gets in his Mech Walker and shoots missles at them on the Washington Mall. Ninja Blade is a verrrry loose sequel (it's more a case of taking place in the same universe), where you are a ninja and also a member of a military special ops team who parachutes into Japan to fight giant mutated zombies using blade boomerangs that shoot fire when you're not manning a helicopter minigun.
If that sounds a little insane, you've got the right idea. From set out to make a game that plays like a balls-out action movie, and it straight-up delivers. Ninja Blade doesn't play around with twisting storylines or romantic subplots, nor are they particularly interested in character progression. The game is all about setpieces - and boy does it have some amazing ones.
Mechanically, the game is almost a clone of the God of War series - you use a variety of weapons to beat up mooks, get orbs, upgrade your gear and advance through the level. It does a good job of making movement a priority, making you feel suitably ninja-like as you swing across rooftops and wall-run with the best of them. The monsters look freaked out and suitably gross, and you have several customization options for your own character's appearance (which are carried over in cutscenes, thankfully).
The reason to buy a ticket for this particular ride, however, is the boss battles. If you've played the first hour of God of War II, you have a good idea what "epic battle against giant opponent" is like. But Ninja Blade blows that fight out of the water. The moment you fall in love with this game is when you are fighting a giant snail, who vomits the contents of a parking lot at you while you're in midair. You then fly down to a motorcycle, start it up and proceed to drive down the backs of other cars as they're thrown at you before hitting the snail with the motorcycle just as you throw a shuriken at the gas tank.
Basically, Ninja Blade asks the question, "Would a 14 year old boy think this was awesome?" and if the answer is "No," they leave it out of the game. It's a constant game of one-upsmanship that always leaves you smiling. Ninja Blade doesn't tackle any elements of the human condition; it knows what it is and does it very, very well.
It doesn't have the legs that an RPG or online fighter/shooter has in terms of replayability, and seeing the monster a second time when you're replaying a level for a time attack score lacks its initial punch, but the ride that is Ninja Blade is well worth the time you invest in it.
Graphics: Acceptable. The creature design is stellar, though the levels have a lot of "sameness" 4.
Sound: The weapons go whoosh and clink, and the monsters groan, but it isn't anything that stands out, for good or bad. 3.
Controls: The game piles a lot of options and it turns into a finger-contorting Simon once you're fully-powered. 3.
Tilt: Just fun as hell. A short ride, but time-attack modes gives it some replay value. You'll have a smile on your face start to finish. 5.
Overall (not an average): 4.
From Software's title Metal Wolf Chaos from a few years back had a little bit of a cult following due to the sheer absurdity of the plot - Aliens attack, so the President of America gets in his Mech Walker and shoots missles at them on the Washington Mall. Ninja Blade is a verrrry loose sequel (it's more a case of taking place in the same universe), where you are a ninja and also a member of a military special ops team who parachutes into Japan to fight giant mutated zombies using blade boomerangs that shoot fire when you're not manning a helicopter minigun.
If that sounds a little insane, you've got the right idea. From set out to make a game that plays like a balls-out action movie, and it straight-up delivers. Ninja Blade doesn't play around with twisting storylines or romantic subplots, nor are they particularly interested in character progression. The game is all about setpieces - and boy does it have some amazing ones.
Mechanically, the game is almost a clone of the God of War series - you use a variety of weapons to beat up mooks, get orbs, upgrade your gear and advance through the level. It does a good job of making movement a priority, making you feel suitably ninja-like as you swing across rooftops and wall-run with the best of them. The monsters look freaked out and suitably gross, and you have several customization options for your own character's appearance (which are carried over in cutscenes, thankfully).
The reason to buy a ticket for this particular ride, however, is the boss battles. If you've played the first hour of God of War II, you have a good idea what "epic battle against giant opponent" is like. But Ninja Blade blows that fight out of the water. The moment you fall in love with this game is when you are fighting a giant snail, who vomits the contents of a parking lot at you while you're in midair. You then fly down to a motorcycle, start it up and proceed to drive down the backs of other cars as they're thrown at you before hitting the snail with the motorcycle just as you throw a shuriken at the gas tank.
Basically, Ninja Blade asks the question, "Would a 14 year old boy think this was awesome?" and if the answer is "No," they leave it out of the game. It's a constant game of one-upsmanship that always leaves you smiling. Ninja Blade doesn't tackle any elements of the human condition; it knows what it is and does it very, very well.
It doesn't have the legs that an RPG or online fighter/shooter has in terms of replayability, and seeing the monster a second time when you're replaying a level for a time attack score lacks its initial punch, but the ride that is Ninja Blade is well worth the time you invest in it.
Graphics: Acceptable. The creature design is stellar, though the levels have a lot of "sameness" 4.
Sound: The weapons go whoosh and clink, and the monsters groan, but it isn't anything that stands out, for good or bad. 3.
Controls: The game piles a lot of options and it turns into a finger-contorting Simon once you're fully-powered. 3.
Tilt: Just fun as hell. A short ride, but time-attack modes gives it some replay value. You'll have a smile on your face start to finish. 5.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
HORROR WEEK: The Darkness
The Darkness
Sometimes it doesn't pay to spend your time being a virtual hero, fighting against things that go bump in the night. Sometimes, you just want to do the bumping. For those times, there's The Darkness. Written by Garth Ennis, based on his own eponymous comic, The Darkness weaves a twisted underworld fairytale as only the master of gratuitous violence and hilarity can. If you're not a comic fan, you've probably never heard of the mad Irishman Ennis, but rest assured he's one of the most demented brilliant writers working today.
Our game starts out as a extraordinarily generic first-person shooter: you're a Mafia hitman whose boss set you up, yadda yadda. But then you come into possession of a demonic entity's powers, and you use them to slaughter endless waves of Mafia mooks, crooked cops and undead Nazis in creative ways, all the while smashing lights and shooting streetlamps to keep yourself in good health. The suitably creepy Mike Patton provides the voice of both the angry entity (the titular Darkness) and its minions, the goofy yet ultraviolent Darklings.
The sound design is top-notch, and the graphics are grim and gritty (though a bit overdark, like a normal FPS's bloom-fest in reverse), with the storyline pulling no punches as it drags you through hell and back for the love of your girlfriend. There are collectables aplenty, handled in a unique way as you collect phone numbers and call them in on a pay phone, and the wit of Ennis really shines as many of them are darkly hilarious.
I'll admit, a console isn't the best place to play a first-person shooter, and this game is no exception to that rule. The autoaim is frustration, and you move and turn very slowly compared to the badass assassin you're built up to be; the sense of speed and urgency is missing from your normal interaction with the world. But the creativity with which the game delivers all the standards of the genre (phone numbers as collectables, a subway station for a warp hub) and the endless chatter available from people who have no impact on the game shows a lot of care was put into this game.
It was slept on by most, but The Darkness is a great single-player experience that deserves a playthrough, especially at the used prices it can be had for nowadays. The game's replay value is low (an atrocious multiplayer offering doesn't help), but for that twelve hours or so, it's a thrill ride with a lot to offer in terms of a richly-realized world, with fantastic voice acting and a spit-shine.
Graphics: Standard for this generation. Face models and speech are beautiful, but play on an SD TV at your own peril. 4.
Sound: Mike Patton is an awesome foil for our "hero" Jackie Estacado. 5.
Controls: Wonky and unresponsive. 2.
Tilt: Great, dark fun. It's a monster movie where you play the monster. 4.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Sometimes it doesn't pay to spend your time being a virtual hero, fighting against things that go bump in the night. Sometimes, you just want to do the bumping. For those times, there's The Darkness. Written by Garth Ennis, based on his own eponymous comic, The Darkness weaves a twisted underworld fairytale as only the master of gratuitous violence and hilarity can. If you're not a comic fan, you've probably never heard of the mad Irishman Ennis, but rest assured he's one of the most demented brilliant writers working today.
Our game starts out as a extraordinarily generic first-person shooter: you're a Mafia hitman whose boss set you up, yadda yadda. But then you come into possession of a demonic entity's powers, and you use them to slaughter endless waves of Mafia mooks, crooked cops and undead Nazis in creative ways, all the while smashing lights and shooting streetlamps to keep yourself in good health. The suitably creepy Mike Patton provides the voice of both the angry entity (the titular Darkness) and its minions, the goofy yet ultraviolent Darklings.
The sound design is top-notch, and the graphics are grim and gritty (though a bit overdark, like a normal FPS's bloom-fest in reverse), with the storyline pulling no punches as it drags you through hell and back for the love of your girlfriend. There are collectables aplenty, handled in a unique way as you collect phone numbers and call them in on a pay phone, and the wit of Ennis really shines as many of them are darkly hilarious.
I'll admit, a console isn't the best place to play a first-person shooter, and this game is no exception to that rule. The autoaim is frustration, and you move and turn very slowly compared to the badass assassin you're built up to be; the sense of speed and urgency is missing from your normal interaction with the world. But the creativity with which the game delivers all the standards of the genre (phone numbers as collectables, a subway station for a warp hub) and the endless chatter available from people who have no impact on the game shows a lot of care was put into this game.
It was slept on by most, but The Darkness is a great single-player experience that deserves a playthrough, especially at the used prices it can be had for nowadays. The game's replay value is low (an atrocious multiplayer offering doesn't help), but for that twelve hours or so, it's a thrill ride with a lot to offer in terms of a richly-realized world, with fantastic voice acting and a spit-shine.
Graphics: Standard for this generation. Face models and speech are beautiful, but play on an SD TV at your own peril. 4.
Sound: Mike Patton is an awesome foil for our "hero" Jackie Estacado. 5.
Controls: Wonky and unresponsive. 2.
Tilt: Great, dark fun. It's a monster movie where you play the monster. 4.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
HORROR WEEK: DOOM
DOOM
Way back when computers were new, there was no internet, no great hivemind telling people what to think. There was only your friends, telling you about this awesome game that Jimmy was playing last time they were over. And for 90% of us, DOOM was that game. While not the progenitor of the FPS, DOOM was such an influence that the term First-Person Shooter had to be coined because too many games were being described as "DOOM Clones," which begged the question to the customer: Why not just play DOOM?
What makes DOOM great, even to this day, is not the graphics (which are not just dated, but now painfully archaic) or the MIDI-based sound, but the level design. DOOM takes its cues not from what we understand of on-rails FPS's or even Light Gun games of the day, but of the text adventure games of the era, offering dozens of secrets, shortcuts and of course 'monster closets' that open up behind you at the most inopportune times. Levels are set up almost as puzzles, with the monsters serving as both an impetus to keep moving and an obstacle in the way of progress.
The lack of a Y-axis sorely hurts DOOM on a modern replay, even moreso than it lacking a true third dimension, as we have grown so used to it that not having it feels almost foreign and retarded (in the classical sense of the word), although the sound design holds up shockingly well. DOOM does an impressive job of making the player intensely aware of sound cues having a specific vocabulary of meanings, and although they are chiptunes at this point, the themes from DOOM are still effective at portraying the immediacy of each stage.
Replaying DOOM now, you realize, much as with a modern replay of the original Legend of Zelda, that these games were punishgly hard and rewarded memorization and repetition as much as playskill. The fun, however, is still present in force, as you attempt not just to make it through the stages, but with your sanity and ammo count high.
Graphics: No excuses, this game is disgusting by modern standards. Releasing a port onto XBLA without at least touching up the sprites is unforgivable. 1.
Sound: Aged like fine wine, and the monster sounds are suitably creepy to this day. 4.
Controls: They feel infantile, which is of course what they are, but no crippling deficiencies. 2.
Tilt: Still great fun to this day, either solo, deathmatching or co-op. 4.
Overall (not an average): 3.
Way back when computers were new, there was no internet, no great hivemind telling people what to think. There was only your friends, telling you about this awesome game that Jimmy was playing last time they were over. And for 90% of us, DOOM was that game. While not the progenitor of the FPS, DOOM was such an influence that the term First-Person Shooter had to be coined because too many games were being described as "DOOM Clones," which begged the question to the customer: Why not just play DOOM?
What makes DOOM great, even to this day, is not the graphics (which are not just dated, but now painfully archaic) or the MIDI-based sound, but the level design. DOOM takes its cues not from what we understand of on-rails FPS's or even Light Gun games of the day, but of the text adventure games of the era, offering dozens of secrets, shortcuts and of course 'monster closets' that open up behind you at the most inopportune times. Levels are set up almost as puzzles, with the monsters serving as both an impetus to keep moving and an obstacle in the way of progress.
The lack of a Y-axis sorely hurts DOOM on a modern replay, even moreso than it lacking a true third dimension, as we have grown so used to it that not having it feels almost foreign and retarded (in the classical sense of the word), although the sound design holds up shockingly well. DOOM does an impressive job of making the player intensely aware of sound cues having a specific vocabulary of meanings, and although they are chiptunes at this point, the themes from DOOM are still effective at portraying the immediacy of each stage.
Replaying DOOM now, you realize, much as with a modern replay of the original Legend of Zelda, that these games were punishgly hard and rewarded memorization and repetition as much as playskill. The fun, however, is still present in force, as you attempt not just to make it through the stages, but with your sanity and ammo count high.
Graphics: No excuses, this game is disgusting by modern standards. Releasing a port onto XBLA without at least touching up the sprites is unforgivable. 1.
Sound: Aged like fine wine, and the monster sounds are suitably creepy to this day. 4.
Controls: They feel infantile, which is of course what they are, but no crippling deficiencies. 2.
Tilt: Still great fun to this day, either solo, deathmatching or co-op. 4.
Overall (not an average): 3.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
HORROR WEEK: Penny Arcade Episode 1
Penny Arcade Adventures, Episode 1: On the Rain-Slicked Precipice of Darkness
There was a time when Penny Arcade was relevant and funny. Then World of Warcraft happened, and there was a fundamental shift away from jokes that were gaming-inspired to jokes that were gaming-derived. So it was with no small amount of trepidation that I started up OTRSPOD, fearing the worst. I was pleasantly surprised to discover a good old-fashioned RPG under the hood, quasi-real time combat mixed with levelling heroes and weapons and a decent-enough plot. Best of all, the comedy is derived from the source material, not from pop culture or in-jokes (with the notable exception of the presence and centrality to the plot of the Fruit Fucker 2000).
Tycho of PA is a brilliant if verbose writer, and his riffing on Lovecraftian themes, coupled with good, lowbrow humor and a sense of whimsy really plays into a great tribute to early 20th century horror author tropes, with genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes littered throughout. The graphics are gorgeous, hand-drawn everything that integrates your created character well. There are some sections that summon the phrase "chintzy Flash game" to mind but overall a positive impression, graphically.
Because the entire game is a throwback to text-based interactions, there's no voice-acting to speak of except for a narration at the beginning and end (and a credits song by MC Frontalot!), so the moody music and ghostly, repetitive monster attack sounds will have to serve you. And, being a throwback game at heart, get ready for lots of walking around, though the game wisely avoids "random encounters" entirely, making you full aware of what awaits you before each combat begins. The flow of the real-time attack meters and countering moves is an interesting combo; you have to wait for attack animations to finish, but at the same time pay attention as there is dexterity-based portions to each combat.
As part of a planned Quadrilogy, the price tag of $20 is a little steep, as the game railroads you pretty hard into the same planned progression each playthrough, offering no different experiences, and grinding is pretty much impossible as sections remain locked until you have finished a suitable amount of story ahead of it. While it isn't a scary game by any means, it does shamelessly and deliberately ape the stylings of H.P. Lovecraft and August Derleth, turning their monster's conventions on their heads and cracking wise, and for making you laugh during your fight with their version of Cthulhu, they get major props at least.
Graphics: Hand-drawn everything, with solid animations, but nothing really mind-blowing. 3.
Sound: A spooky soundtrack, but no voice work and reptitive monster sounds. 2.
Sound Supplemental: A credits song, by MC Frontalot: +1
Controls: The dexterity of blocking/dodging feels shoehorned into an otherwise classic turn-based RPG system. 3.
Tilt: Lots of jokes at the expense of mimes, fruit, carneys, urinologists and Lovecraft. 4.
Overall (not an average): 3.
There was a time when Penny Arcade was relevant and funny. Then World of Warcraft happened, and there was a fundamental shift away from jokes that were gaming-inspired to jokes that were gaming-derived. So it was with no small amount of trepidation that I started up OTRSPOD, fearing the worst. I was pleasantly surprised to discover a good old-fashioned RPG under the hood, quasi-real time combat mixed with levelling heroes and weapons and a decent-enough plot. Best of all, the comedy is derived from the source material, not from pop culture or in-jokes (with the notable exception of the presence and centrality to the plot of the Fruit Fucker 2000).
Tycho of PA is a brilliant if verbose writer, and his riffing on Lovecraftian themes, coupled with good, lowbrow humor and a sense of whimsy really plays into a great tribute to early 20th century horror author tropes, with genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes littered throughout. The graphics are gorgeous, hand-drawn everything that integrates your created character well. There are some sections that summon the phrase "chintzy Flash game" to mind but overall a positive impression, graphically.
Because the entire game is a throwback to text-based interactions, there's no voice-acting to speak of except for a narration at the beginning and end (and a credits song by MC Frontalot!), so the moody music and ghostly, repetitive monster attack sounds will have to serve you. And, being a throwback game at heart, get ready for lots of walking around, though the game wisely avoids "random encounters" entirely, making you full aware of what awaits you before each combat begins. The flow of the real-time attack meters and countering moves is an interesting combo; you have to wait for attack animations to finish, but at the same time pay attention as there is dexterity-based portions to each combat.
As part of a planned Quadrilogy, the price tag of $20 is a little steep, as the game railroads you pretty hard into the same planned progression each playthrough, offering no different experiences, and grinding is pretty much impossible as sections remain locked until you have finished a suitable amount of story ahead of it. While it isn't a scary game by any means, it does shamelessly and deliberately ape the stylings of H.P. Lovecraft and August Derleth, turning their monster's conventions on their heads and cracking wise, and for making you laugh during your fight with their version of Cthulhu, they get major props at least.
Graphics: Hand-drawn everything, with solid animations, but nothing really mind-blowing. 3.
Sound: A spooky soundtrack, but no voice work and reptitive monster sounds. 2.
Sound Supplemental: A credits song, by MC Frontalot: +1
Controls: The dexterity of blocking/dodging feels shoehorned into an otherwise classic turn-based RPG system. 3.
Tilt: Lots of jokes at the expense of mimes, fruit, carneys, urinologists and Lovecraft. 4.
Overall (not an average): 3.
Monday, October 25, 2010
HORROR WEEK: Dead Space
Dead Space
I am a gigantic sissy-girl when it comes to horror games. I'm not ashamed to say it, I have a lot of trouble playing 'scary games.' Which is odd, because I'm the biggest gorehound I know, and have an encyclopedic knowledge of horror movies and horror authors; I love the genre, but there's something about playing a game, where you are the one being chased, attacked or dismembered that makes it completely unnerving.
Dead Space is pretty much the scariest thing you will ever play. I am not exaggerating in the least when I say it is endlessly unsettling and outright terrifying. The irony is it is such a completely lame and overdone plot, but like the great horror films, it realizes the point is not an interesting storyline, but pants-crapping fear that matters, and the less "story" that gets in the way, the better. Horror and Comedy share these traits in cinema, books and games.
Issaac Clark (as in, Asimov and Arthur C., get it?) is a repairman who has to put together a drifting spaceship that has been ovverrun with the animated corpses of its staff, and his long-distance girlfriend is somewhere on the ship as well. What Dead Space skips in plot, it makes up for in jaw-droppingly gorgeous setpieces and extraordinarily intelligent design. The game's director very clearly takes influences from the standard tropes of monster movies, and learns his lessons well.
Shadows shift and change, monsters grumble and skitter even when they aren't attacking, and the ship groans and creaks like a dying behemoth you are trapped in the belly of. For the full experience, playing this game with the audio routed to a pair of headphones will set most over the edge.
The best touches are the little ones, what we call 'polish' in the games industry. Unlike a normal shooter, this game makes sure every time you have to go anywhere, there's not just one path. There's always an alternate route, one bathed in darkness, that even though your digital breadcrumb trail says is useless, you find yourself checking out "just to be sure." Whenever you walk up to a closed door, the icon reads "Open?", a question you don't really want to answer 'yes' to, since you know death awaits on the other side.
Graphics: The best you'll see this gen. Everything is coated in a layer of polish, showing off the details better that even Silent Hill's famously painted backgrounds, only in true 3-D. 5.
Sound: Better and spookier work than anything you'll endure elsewhere. Good luck playing this game after dark. 5.
Controls: Issac is just a bit too slow and lumbering, though whether this is by design or not is debatable. 4.
Tilt: White-knuckle thrill ride incarnate. 5.
Overall (not an average): The definitive survival horror game of all time. It's questionable that this game will ever bested in this gen, or even the next one. 5.
I am a gigantic sissy-girl when it comes to horror games. I'm not ashamed to say it, I have a lot of trouble playing 'scary games.' Which is odd, because I'm the biggest gorehound I know, and have an encyclopedic knowledge of horror movies and horror authors; I love the genre, but there's something about playing a game, where you are the one being chased, attacked or dismembered that makes it completely unnerving.
Dead Space is pretty much the scariest thing you will ever play. I am not exaggerating in the least when I say it is endlessly unsettling and outright terrifying. The irony is it is such a completely lame and overdone plot, but like the great horror films, it realizes the point is not an interesting storyline, but pants-crapping fear that matters, and the less "story" that gets in the way, the better. Horror and Comedy share these traits in cinema, books and games.
Issaac Clark (as in, Asimov and Arthur C., get it?) is a repairman who has to put together a drifting spaceship that has been ovverrun with the animated corpses of its staff, and his long-distance girlfriend is somewhere on the ship as well. What Dead Space skips in plot, it makes up for in jaw-droppingly gorgeous setpieces and extraordinarily intelligent design. The game's director very clearly takes influences from the standard tropes of monster movies, and learns his lessons well.
Shadows shift and change, monsters grumble and skitter even when they aren't attacking, and the ship groans and creaks like a dying behemoth you are trapped in the belly of. For the full experience, playing this game with the audio routed to a pair of headphones will set most over the edge.
The best touches are the little ones, what we call 'polish' in the games industry. Unlike a normal shooter, this game makes sure every time you have to go anywhere, there's not just one path. There's always an alternate route, one bathed in darkness, that even though your digital breadcrumb trail says is useless, you find yourself checking out "just to be sure." Whenever you walk up to a closed door, the icon reads "Open?", a question you don't really want to answer 'yes' to, since you know death awaits on the other side.
Graphics: The best you'll see this gen. Everything is coated in a layer of polish, showing off the details better that even Silent Hill's famously painted backgrounds, only in true 3-D. 5.
Sound: Better and spookier work than anything you'll endure elsewhere. Good luck playing this game after dark. 5.
Controls: Issac is just a bit too slow and lumbering, though whether this is by design or not is debatable. 4.
Tilt: White-knuckle thrill ride incarnate. 5.
Overall (not an average): The definitive survival horror game of all time. It's questionable that this game will ever bested in this gen, or even the next one. 5.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Alone in the Dark (360)
Alone in the Dark
Alone in the Dark tries to do a lot of ambitious stuff, and for the most part succeeds in doing what it wants to do. Unfortunately, what it wants to do isn't very much fun. The Alone in the Dark franchise was the progenitor of the entire "survival horror" concept, where a common man (Edward Carnby, in modern day New York City for reasons that are vague and best left undiscussed) once again battles back against forces of ancient, Lovecraftian evil. The game presents itself as several discrete, independent stages that can be selected like DVD chapters and played through in any order. Allegedly, you don't need to have played the game linearly to understand it, but that's bunk, especially in a game as convoluted as this one.
The game offers unparalleled freedom. Everything is a weapon, and you're free to find your own way (sometimes), shooting locks out of doors and bashing in the window and hotwiring any car you can find. Unfortunately, the game also wrests control from you and forces you into retarded jumping puzzles over and over again, or worse, forces you to drive anywhere. The combat controls are similarly unweildy, at once naturalistic with their pressure-sensitive "rear-back-and-swing" setup and idiotic with no lock-on and context-sensitive 'up' like the old tank-movement games from Resident Evil's ignomious past.
Edward Carnby looks suitably grizzled and unkempt, and the monster design is fantastic. The visuals in this game are top-notch, and the sound design is up there with any of its contemporaries, but the game is just... a chore. There's no other way to say it. It's less than the sum of its parts, which on their own offer a lot of good ideas, but just aren't put together well. One really nice touch that more games should do is subtle hints. In the first stage, you have to creep along outside a building ledge 20 stories up. At one point you're required to hop up and hang from your fingertaps and wiggle across a gap. Instead of a giant arrow, or a pop-up prompt (this is part of a long tutorial), when the scene begins the camera swoops in, and you can see a few rats running across this same ledge. It's an elegant, in-game solution that rewards careful observers. Unforutunately, this is also infuriating when the in-game hint is vague or you don't have the exact same thought processes as the designers.
Graphics: The character models are great, and the scenery lush (though not Silent Hill levels of creepy). 3/5
Sound: Equal to any of its contemporaries, though doesn't distinguish itself from the pack. 3/5
Controls: There's a button to blink your eyes, which you need to do when you're in a smoky room or just waking up from being drugged. Combat is a chore and doing all the things this game is capable of is just annoying. 1/5
Tilt: I keep using the word "ambitious" because that's what this game is. It overreaches and can't deliver, but there are repeated moments that make you go "Huh. That's sweet, I wish more games did that. 4/5.
Overall (not an average): 2/5
Alone in the Dark tries to do a lot of ambitious stuff, and for the most part succeeds in doing what it wants to do. Unfortunately, what it wants to do isn't very much fun. The Alone in the Dark franchise was the progenitor of the entire "survival horror" concept, where a common man (Edward Carnby, in modern day New York City for reasons that are vague and best left undiscussed) once again battles back against forces of ancient, Lovecraftian evil. The game presents itself as several discrete, independent stages that can be selected like DVD chapters and played through in any order. Allegedly, you don't need to have played the game linearly to understand it, but that's bunk, especially in a game as convoluted as this one.
The game offers unparalleled freedom. Everything is a weapon, and you're free to find your own way (sometimes), shooting locks out of doors and bashing in the window and hotwiring any car you can find. Unfortunately, the game also wrests control from you and forces you into retarded jumping puzzles over and over again, or worse, forces you to drive anywhere. The combat controls are similarly unweildy, at once naturalistic with their pressure-sensitive "rear-back-and-swing" setup and idiotic with no lock-on and context-sensitive 'up' like the old tank-movement games from Resident Evil's ignomious past.
Edward Carnby looks suitably grizzled and unkempt, and the monster design is fantastic. The visuals in this game are top-notch, and the sound design is up there with any of its contemporaries, but the game is just... a chore. There's no other way to say it. It's less than the sum of its parts, which on their own offer a lot of good ideas, but just aren't put together well. One really nice touch that more games should do is subtle hints. In the first stage, you have to creep along outside a building ledge 20 stories up. At one point you're required to hop up and hang from your fingertaps and wiggle across a gap. Instead of a giant arrow, or a pop-up prompt (this is part of a long tutorial), when the scene begins the camera swoops in, and you can see a few rats running across this same ledge. It's an elegant, in-game solution that rewards careful observers. Unforutunately, this is also infuriating when the in-game hint is vague or you don't have the exact same thought processes as the designers.
Graphics: The character models are great, and the scenery lush (though not Silent Hill levels of creepy). 3/5
Sound: Equal to any of its contemporaries, though doesn't distinguish itself from the pack. 3/5
Controls: There's a button to blink your eyes, which you need to do when you're in a smoky room or just waking up from being drugged. Combat is a chore and doing all the things this game is capable of is just annoying. 1/5
Tilt: I keep using the word "ambitious" because that's what this game is. It overreaches and can't deliver, but there are repeated moments that make you go "Huh. That's sweet, I wish more games did that. 4/5.
Overall (not an average): 2/5
Friday, April 16, 2010
CSI: Hard Evidence
CSI: Hard Evidence
CSI: Hard Evidence is terrible. Just, awful in every way. So instead of reviewing it, I'll be reviewing an imaginary version that exists only in my mind of what should have been a cool game. Differences between my imagined game and the actual game will be italicized.
****
CSI: Hard Evidence is the latest installment in the critically acclaimed, hugely popular series of investigation games based on television's #1 show. In the game, you're the latest recruit to the Las Vegas Crime Scene squad, and in the game, you'll have to solve five delightfully demented mysteries, following the evidence to a proper conclusion.
The graphics are passable, with crisp resolutions and detailed scenes, conducive to actually investigating the tiniest detail in pursuit of the criminal. The game looks great, natively rendered in glorious 1080i with several pre-rendered cutscenes showing the investigator's current suggested scenarios for how it went down.
After being introduced to each crime scene, you have to start collecting evidence. To do so, you use an intuitive interface, holding down the right trigger to bring up a wheel with the various tools of your lab kit, selecting the tool using the right stick, then releasing the trigger to start working on the scene. The left trigger brings up the cell phone you use to call the Lieutenant to request warrants or place APBs, or to call other members of the CSI who are specialists in their field (of course, at any time, you can take over for them and accomplish the task faster).
The brilliance of the game is that in each level there are a number of suspects (the suspect list is the same in every game), but the evidence will lead to a different culprit each time, using a series of rotating location and interrogation clues.
You are able to interact with and process a startling amount of information at each of the scenes, some of which is a total red herring, and some of which is vital to the case; however, what is a red herring this playthrough could be a vital clue the next time through.
The music and ambient noise is a fine complement all around, mixing slightly urban instrumentals with the show's actual soundtrack and effects work, and the voice acting is provided by all the principal cast members as well as a few "guest stars" just like the show (we won't spoil who they are, but one is a common haunter of the environs of Las Vegas).
While the different "mini-games" for processing evidence aren't terribly deep, they do require a bit of skill and a keen eye; thankfully you are able to progress at least to the next section without every single shred of evidence, though warrants and confessions may be tougher to come by, though there is the tiniest bit of wiggle room.
Most impressive, though, is the ability to reach a false conclusion. At the end of the case, there's a denoumant that explains (with classic CSI flashbacks) how the crime went down, although in some cases, there's an overwhelming amount of evidence against one person, and you are able to get an arrest warrant for them, because a piece of exculpatory evidence was missed. In these cases, you'll see a quick screen explaining how the killer was set free (and receive a poor review grade and miss the achievement). The scary possibility of sending innocent people to jail because you screwed up is integral to making CSI a winner instead of a boring point-n-click farce where the interrogations have no dialog trees, you're just required to press A every so often.
Graphics (Imaginary Good Game Score in Parentheses): Agressively bad - muddy textures in a pixel-hunting game, and often times completely black swaths with no way to illuminate them contribute to a painful experience (the crisp colors and ability to use blacklights or a traditional flashlight make the game challenging but not limited) 1 (4)
Sound: Great effects and music (the original cast and a few "stunt voices" make a cool bonus) 4 (5)
Controls: Mean-spiritedly obtuse, making no use of any buttons except A and LB, ever. (intuitive and clever, with slick animations) 1 (5)
Tilt: An unfun chore - you're better off just watching the show (expands on the show and puts you in the middle of the action) 1 (4)
Overall (not an average): 1 (4)
CSI: Hard Evidence is terrible. Just, awful in every way. So instead of reviewing it, I'll be reviewing an imaginary version that exists only in my mind of what should have been a cool game. Differences between my imagined game and the actual game will be italicized.
****
CSI: Hard Evidence is the latest installment in the critically acclaimed, hugely popular series of investigation games based on television's #1 show. In the game, you're the latest recruit to the Las Vegas Crime Scene squad, and in the game, you'll have to solve five delightfully demented mysteries, following the evidence to a proper conclusion.
The graphics are passable, with crisp resolutions and detailed scenes, conducive to actually investigating the tiniest detail in pursuit of the criminal. The game looks great, natively rendered in glorious 1080i with several pre-rendered cutscenes showing the investigator's current suggested scenarios for how it went down.
After being introduced to each crime scene, you have to start collecting evidence. To do so, you use an intuitive interface, holding down the right trigger to bring up a wheel with the various tools of your lab kit, selecting the tool using the right stick, then releasing the trigger to start working on the scene. The left trigger brings up the cell phone you use to call the Lieutenant to request warrants or place APBs, or to call other members of the CSI who are specialists in their field (of course, at any time, you can take over for them and accomplish the task faster).
The brilliance of the game is that in each level there are a number of suspects (the suspect list is the same in every game), but the evidence will lead to a different culprit each time, using a series of rotating location and interrogation clues.
You are able to interact with and process a startling amount of information at each of the scenes, some of which is a total red herring, and some of which is vital to the case; however, what is a red herring this playthrough could be a vital clue the next time through.
The music and ambient noise is a fine complement all around, mixing slightly urban instrumentals with the show's actual soundtrack and effects work, and the voice acting is provided by all the principal cast members as well as a few "guest stars" just like the show (we won't spoil who they are, but one is a common haunter of the environs of Las Vegas).
While the different "mini-games" for processing evidence aren't terribly deep, they do require a bit of skill and a keen eye; thankfully you are able to progress at least to the next section without every single shred of evidence, though warrants and confessions may be tougher to come by, though there is the tiniest bit of wiggle room.
Most impressive, though, is the ability to reach a false conclusion. At the end of the case, there's a denoumant that explains (with classic CSI flashbacks) how the crime went down, although in some cases, there's an overwhelming amount of evidence against one person, and you are able to get an arrest warrant for them, because a piece of exculpatory evidence was missed. In these cases, you'll see a quick screen explaining how the killer was set free (and receive a poor review grade and miss the achievement). The scary possibility of sending innocent people to jail because you screwed up is integral to making CSI a winner instead of a boring point-n-click farce where the interrogations have no dialog trees, you're just required to press A every so often.
Graphics (Imaginary Good Game Score in Parentheses): Agressively bad - muddy textures in a pixel-hunting game, and often times completely black swaths with no way to illuminate them contribute to a painful experience (the crisp colors and ability to use blacklights or a traditional flashlight make the game challenging but not limited) 1 (4)
Sound: Great effects and music (the original cast and a few "stunt voices" make a cool bonus) 4 (5)
Controls: Mean-spiritedly obtuse, making no use of any buttons except A and LB, ever. (intuitive and clever, with slick animations) 1 (5)
Tilt: An unfun chore - you're better off just watching the show (expands on the show and puts you in the middle of the action) 1 (4)
Overall (not an average): 1 (4)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Fallout 3
Fallout 3
War. War Never Changes.
It must suck to be GTAIV right now. Last November, there was an absolute glut of great, great AAA titles, and Rockstar wanted nothing to do with fighting BioShock, Mass Effect and their friends. So they brought out their next-gen urban crime sandboxer in May of this year, and when I played it, I immediately crowned it Game of the Year. Nothing could touch it in production values or overall unifying aesthetic. Then the "Summer of Arcade" took the pressure off full disc releases, and it looked like, with Dead Space being great but not perfect and a few other titles faltered, GTAIV looked sure to sweep the year-end accolades.
Oops.
Fallout 3 is not the best game this year. It is the best game made so far. In games. Period, full stop. Bethesda so completely nailed the setting, and their attention to detail spilled over into every thing about the game being fantastic. In the ten years since Fallout 2's release, there's been endless fanboy gnashing of teeth, and while this won't satisfy them (nothing would have, let's be honest), this game delivers at the end on all the promise it offered at the start. Ostensibly, the game follows the progress of one of Vault-Tec's underground Vault Dwellers as he or she makes their escape into the blasted wastelands of a post-apocalyptic future/past Washington DC and affects the world around them on the search for his/her father, who ran away too.
Graphically, there isn't a lot to dislike. It has a draw distance that is essentially unparalleled, thousands of intriticately detailed character models, weapons, landscapes and enemies. More importantly, Bethesda totally nailed the design ethic of a future world where the rock-n-roll revolution never happened, and idyllic 1950's culture endured into a world of fusion cars, talking robots and of course, nuclear holocaust.
The sound runs the gamut, from traditional (but well-choreographed) 'fight music' as enemies approach, to a smattering of classic big band tunes on the various rogue radio stations still broadcasting to the wastes. No expense was spared on voice talent, either, as Malcolm McDowell lends his vocals to the voice of President Eden, and Liam Neeson takes on the role of your father. And of course, Ron Perlman reprises his role as narrator. Weapons and explosions are suitably booming, and the laser weaponry is pew-pew-y enough to harken 1950's space invader paranoia without parodying it.
The controls are daunting at first, but once the realization sets in that the game is essentially an RPG with turn-based combat, it becomes a lot more fun. All projectile weapons are terrifically inaccurate when fired from the hip, but once you enter VATS (a timestop action point based combat system) the enjoyment floods back into the game. The minigames really nail the feel of the actions they mimic; the hacking game in particular is rewarding, as you guess and filter clues to find the correct word out of a list, using a process of elimination, while the lockpicking minigame has real tactile response and overall pressure factored in to it.
Fallout 3 really shines not in the main story (which almost seems intentionally stunted and cropped to get the player to really explore) but in the almost endless variety of sidequests, and the absolutely jaw-dropping amount of things there are to do. There are simply too many things to do in this game, and you cannot possibly do them all. After having sunk over 70 hours (that's not a typo; there's a reason there's a week's gap in posts) into this game in the last month and still playing every day, I haven't explored even half of the game's world. The best parts of the game aren't even in the side quests, they are - like Heaven itself - in the details.
In one corner of the map, you will find a series of giant satellite dishes. Climbing up to the top of them reveals a pile of potato chips and several empty liquor bottles, lying on the top of the dish. And at first you are baffled, but it makes perfect sense. As the world is totally going to hell around you, it'd be pretty sweet to watch the nuclear sunrise from the highest point you can get to; just hanging out on top of a satellite dish and watching the stars as the world decays. There's really nothing I can say about the game that tops that, once you realize that that sort of attention to detail and logical concluding pervades every single step of the game, and you appreciate how much work went into making it, you have no choice but to laud it for basically the crowning achievement in building, populating, and convincingly destroying an entire world.
Graphics: Absurdly good. Highly-detailed walls, ground and a twinkling night sky, unique setpieces everywhere and the longest draw-distance I've ever seen. 5.
Sound: Great voice-acting, especially from the 3 "real stars" brought in, though some characters obviously have the same actor, but the effects and music (both licensed and original) are stellar. 5.
Controls: Not an issue. The only complaint is the inability to jump while on an incline, but that's an engine issue that can be avoided by not trying to glitch to inaccessible areas. With the choice to play any or all of the game in a 1st-, over-the-shoulder- or 3rd-person view, you shouldn't have any complaints. 5.
Tilt: Completely off the charts. Captures the dark human, fatalism and grittyness of Fallout without devolving into parody or taking itself too seriously. Secrets and easter eggs are everywhere. 5.
Overall (not an Average): Tendrils' Top Picks
War. War Never Changes.
It must suck to be GTAIV right now. Last November, there was an absolute glut of great, great AAA titles, and Rockstar wanted nothing to do with fighting BioShock, Mass Effect and their friends. So they brought out their next-gen urban crime sandboxer in May of this year, and when I played it, I immediately crowned it Game of the Year. Nothing could touch it in production values or overall unifying aesthetic. Then the "Summer of Arcade" took the pressure off full disc releases, and it looked like, with Dead Space being great but not perfect and a few other titles faltered, GTAIV looked sure to sweep the year-end accolades.
Oops.
Fallout 3 is not the best game this year. It is the best game made so far. In games. Period, full stop. Bethesda so completely nailed the setting, and their attention to detail spilled over into every thing about the game being fantastic. In the ten years since Fallout 2's release, there's been endless fanboy gnashing of teeth, and while this won't satisfy them (nothing would have, let's be honest), this game delivers at the end on all the promise it offered at the start. Ostensibly, the game follows the progress of one of Vault-Tec's underground Vault Dwellers as he or she makes their escape into the blasted wastelands of a post-apocalyptic future/past Washington DC and affects the world around them on the search for his/her father, who ran away too.
Graphically, there isn't a lot to dislike. It has a draw distance that is essentially unparalleled, thousands of intriticately detailed character models, weapons, landscapes and enemies. More importantly, Bethesda totally nailed the design ethic of a future world where the rock-n-roll revolution never happened, and idyllic 1950's culture endured into a world of fusion cars, talking robots and of course, nuclear holocaust.
The sound runs the gamut, from traditional (but well-choreographed) 'fight music' as enemies approach, to a smattering of classic big band tunes on the various rogue radio stations still broadcasting to the wastes. No expense was spared on voice talent, either, as Malcolm McDowell lends his vocals to the voice of President Eden, and Liam Neeson takes on the role of your father. And of course, Ron Perlman reprises his role as narrator. Weapons and explosions are suitably booming, and the laser weaponry is pew-pew-y enough to harken 1950's space invader paranoia without parodying it.
The controls are daunting at first, but once the realization sets in that the game is essentially an RPG with turn-based combat, it becomes a lot more fun. All projectile weapons are terrifically inaccurate when fired from the hip, but once you enter VATS (a timestop action point based combat system) the enjoyment floods back into the game. The minigames really nail the feel of the actions they mimic; the hacking game in particular is rewarding, as you guess and filter clues to find the correct word out of a list, using a process of elimination, while the lockpicking minigame has real tactile response and overall pressure factored in to it.
Fallout 3 really shines not in the main story (which almost seems intentionally stunted and cropped to get the player to really explore) but in the almost endless variety of sidequests, and the absolutely jaw-dropping amount of things there are to do. There are simply too many things to do in this game, and you cannot possibly do them all. After having sunk over 70 hours (that's not a typo; there's a reason there's a week's gap in posts) into this game in the last month and still playing every day, I haven't explored even half of the game's world. The best parts of the game aren't even in the side quests, they are - like Heaven itself - in the details.
In one corner of the map, you will find a series of giant satellite dishes. Climbing up to the top of them reveals a pile of potato chips and several empty liquor bottles, lying on the top of the dish. And at first you are baffled, but it makes perfect sense. As the world is totally going to hell around you, it'd be pretty sweet to watch the nuclear sunrise from the highest point you can get to; just hanging out on top of a satellite dish and watching the stars as the world decays. There's really nothing I can say about the game that tops that, once you realize that that sort of attention to detail and logical concluding pervades every single step of the game, and you appreciate how much work went into making it, you have no choice but to laud it for basically the crowning achievement in building, populating, and convincingly destroying an entire world.
Graphics: Absurdly good. Highly-detailed walls, ground and a twinkling night sky, unique setpieces everywhere and the longest draw-distance I've ever seen. 5.
Sound: Great voice-acting, especially from the 3 "real stars" brought in, though some characters obviously have the same actor, but the effects and music (both licensed and original) are stellar. 5.
Controls: Not an issue. The only complaint is the inability to jump while on an incline, but that's an engine issue that can be avoided by not trying to glitch to inaccessible areas. With the choice to play any or all of the game in a 1st-, over-the-shoulder- or 3rd-person view, you shouldn't have any complaints. 5.
Tilt: Completely off the charts. Captures the dark human, fatalism and grittyness of Fallout without devolving into parody or taking itself too seriously. Secrets and easter eggs are everywhere. 5.
Overall (not an Average): Tendrils' Top Picks
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
Once a series gets itself a hit, job one of everyone at the company is immediately milk that franchise for all it's worth. Nintendo understands this most succintly, slapping its properties' names on absolutely everything in order to push units. Other companies produce spinoff after spinoff or just keep cranking out sequels, innovating little and just upgrading graphically. Bionic Commando entered the "Iconic" phase of its career after just one fantastic game, and nothing was ever made of it, save for maybe a lazy port or two on a handheld system.
This changed during the "Summer of the Arcade," and Bionic Commando: Rearmed was (along with Castle Crashers) the cornerstone of that campaign. A full-on reimagining along with totally upgraded gameplay that still keeps the charm and no-jump-ness of the original, along with its balls-hard challenge.
Bionic Commando: Rearmed starts with a very simple formula: A platforming side-scroller with no jump button, instead you need to use your claw to swing through environments, rescue the POW and stop General Killt from completing the "Master D" project. Nothing fancy, but Heaven is in the details. The original dealt with the chiptunes and color palette of the NES, but the Reimagining (calling it a remake is completely unfair) goes all-out. It is also a proof-of-concept as a piece of salable advertising for the new, fully-3D next-generation Bionic Commando game releasing early in 2009. While it wasn't expected to turn a profit, it sold like gangbusters and proved that with enough hype and (gasp) effort, you can make an AAA title on a digital distribution service to console gamers profitable.
This is a beautiful title, and while it is unashamedly 2-D, this just lets them put that much more work into gorgeous painted backgrounds. New puzzles abound, and for those that played the original like crazy, things are both familiar and new to them. Bosses make a triumphant return as something to be 'solved' rather than simply ignored in favor of blowing the main control panel in each stage, and Groeber is now truly a force to be reckoned with instead of a recurring sub-boss.
Controlling Joe is just as fun as always, and swinging from lamp to lamp is a joy. There's really nothing more to say; there's a few physics-based quirks to take advantage of in the game that weren't in the original, but the mechanic remains totally unchanged from the original twenty years ago. The music, likewise, is stirring and suitably patriotic for your missions.
Honestly, this is a title that could easily have released at twice its price, and the fact that it didn't shows a lot of guts on the publisher's part, sticking to their guns to get this game in as many homes as possible, and the gambit worked. The game is just as challenging as the original, but with proper new-generation "three lives per level, not ever" ethics it is a firm but fair difficulty.
Graphics: Superb for any generation; superlative for its price tag. 4.
Sound: No voice acting, but the music and sound effects are great. 4.
Controls: Aggrivating in a good way; you know exactly what you want to do and how to do it, it's just down to execution. 3.
Tilt: Nostalgia meets actual effort in a port - make than a reimagining of an almost-forgotten classic. 5.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Once a series gets itself a hit, job one of everyone at the company is immediately milk that franchise for all it's worth. Nintendo understands this most succintly, slapping its properties' names on absolutely everything in order to push units. Other companies produce spinoff after spinoff or just keep cranking out sequels, innovating little and just upgrading graphically. Bionic Commando entered the "Iconic" phase of its career after just one fantastic game, and nothing was ever made of it, save for maybe a lazy port or two on a handheld system.
This changed during the "Summer of the Arcade," and Bionic Commando: Rearmed was (along with Castle Crashers) the cornerstone of that campaign. A full-on reimagining along with totally upgraded gameplay that still keeps the charm and no-jump-ness of the original, along with its balls-hard challenge.
Bionic Commando: Rearmed starts with a very simple formula: A platforming side-scroller with no jump button, instead you need to use your claw to swing through environments, rescue the POW and stop General Killt from completing the "Master D" project. Nothing fancy, but Heaven is in the details. The original dealt with the chiptunes and color palette of the NES, but the Reimagining (calling it a remake is completely unfair) goes all-out. It is also a proof-of-concept as a piece of salable advertising for the new, fully-3D next-generation Bionic Commando game releasing early in 2009. While it wasn't expected to turn a profit, it sold like gangbusters and proved that with enough hype and (gasp) effort, you can make an AAA title on a digital distribution service to console gamers profitable.
This is a beautiful title, and while it is unashamedly 2-D, this just lets them put that much more work into gorgeous painted backgrounds. New puzzles abound, and for those that played the original like crazy, things are both familiar and new to them. Bosses make a triumphant return as something to be 'solved' rather than simply ignored in favor of blowing the main control panel in each stage, and Groeber is now truly a force to be reckoned with instead of a recurring sub-boss.
Controlling Joe is just as fun as always, and swinging from lamp to lamp is a joy. There's really nothing more to say; there's a few physics-based quirks to take advantage of in the game that weren't in the original, but the mechanic remains totally unchanged from the original twenty years ago. The music, likewise, is stirring and suitably patriotic for your missions.
Honestly, this is a title that could easily have released at twice its price, and the fact that it didn't shows a lot of guts on the publisher's part, sticking to their guns to get this game in as many homes as possible, and the gambit worked. The game is just as challenging as the original, but with proper new-generation "three lives per level, not ever" ethics it is a firm but fair difficulty.
Graphics: Superb for any generation; superlative for its price tag. 4.
Sound: No voice acting, but the music and sound effects are great. 4.
Controls: Aggrivating in a good way; you know exactly what you want to do and how to do it, it's just down to execution. 3.
Tilt: Nostalgia meets actual effort in a port - make than a reimagining of an almost-forgotten classic. 5.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Mass Effect
Mass Effect
Remember all that stuff I said yesterday about StarCon 2? Yeah, Mass Effect blows it out of the water on almost every level.
As Commander Shephard, you use your unique skill set to bring a rogue cop to justice and eventually save the galaxy from a threat beyond time. Along the way, you make some friends, make more enemies, and learn more about Krogan testicles than you probably wanted to. Saren, a galactic James Bond-type, has gone missing and stolen some pretty valuable information, information you too accidentally came into posession of, a warning of doom from beyond. The race is on from the very first scene in the game to save the galaxy, though the shape of that galaxy once the major crisis is averted is up to you and your actions entirely.
First, here's everything that's wrong with Mass Effect: Needless wandering across planets in a difficult-to-control MAKO all-terrain tank, squadmates that require constant supervision, an occasional chugging framerate, repetitive "dungeon" assets and a storyline that honestly isn't all that branching, compared to Star Control II.
I'll address these in turn:
Remember all that stuff I said yesterday about StarCon 2? Yeah, Mass Effect blows it out of the water on almost every level.
As Commander Shephard, you use your unique skill set to bring a rogue cop to justice and eventually save the galaxy from a threat beyond time. Along the way, you make some friends, make more enemies, and learn more about Krogan testicles than you probably wanted to. Saren, a galactic James Bond-type, has gone missing and stolen some pretty valuable information, information you too accidentally came into posession of, a warning of doom from beyond. The race is on from the very first scene in the game to save the galaxy, though the shape of that galaxy once the major crisis is averted is up to you and your actions entirely.
First, here's everything that's wrong with Mass Effect: Needless wandering across planets in a difficult-to-control MAKO all-terrain tank, squadmates that require constant supervision, an occasional chugging framerate, repetitive "dungeon" assets and a storyline that honestly isn't all that branching, compared to Star Control II.
I'll address these in turn:
- I personally loved the MAKO sections and running across the different planet types. With hundreds of detailed descriptions on everything, there's so much going on it's ridiculous. Planets have their own identity, even minor ones with little or no quest-related activities.
- Your squadmates are actually a lot more competent than people give them credit for- Mass Effect is the first game ever that I felt comfortable letting my teammate operate a sniper rifle on.
- The chugging framerate is the price for such a dazzlingly beautiful game; Mass Effect is what people mean when they say "next-gen game." There's so much going on, with so much intricate detail the game occasionally simply demands you stop a second and just take it all in.
- The repetitive "dungeons" I thought were sufficiently explained by the economies of standardization that would be required for any sort of interstellar colonization, and besides any "storyline-centric" planets got their own, fully-realized designs.
- The non-branching storyline is due to Mass Effect being the first of a planned trilogy, and now that the engine and many art assets are already banked, the sequel should be beyond fantastic.
The music is so far beyond anything we've had in games before; it's evocative of Vangelis (composers of the Blade Runner soundtrack) as well as the brooding of more menacing sci-fi films like Aliens and Life Force. Each area has its own permutations, but like a great opera, they all tie into the main theme.
Gameplay-wise, it's a testament to the game's quality that the only bad things people have to say are about bugs, which are present in every game, and far from game-crippling in this one. It's so easy to get lost in this game, running around, visiting with people who have interesting tidbits of information for you, none of which is integral to the plot. I've spent hours in the Codec just reading the various entries into species' histories and triumphs.
Combat in this game is satisfyingly visceral, and there is a real learning curve to it. Fortunately, right around the time you get the hang of it on your first playthrough, you become an unstoppable killing machine assuming you're paying attention and specializing your squadmates for their normal roles.
I'd like to take a quick aside here and bemoan the death of the Instruction Manual. With the notable and thankful exception of RockStar games, the art of a well-crafted, in-universe and evocative instruction manual that comes packaged with a game has fallen by the wayside, and in this case, it's a glaring omission. Most times, a game has a ham-handed tutorial shoehorned into the first half-hour of gameplay; Mass Effect does nothing of the kind, and without a manual that really breaks down your options, most common complaints I've seen of the game are from players who don't know how to wring the most from it. Mass Effect is ironically one of the tighter and more interesting squad-based third person shooters out there, despite being firmly in the RPG camp.
I sunk more hours into this game than any other in all of 2007; it really was simply the best thing you can possibly play on the system up until the release of Fallout 3. The ending was suitably satisfying, whether you were playing as a paragon saving the universe or a renegade just getting by and surviving the best s/he can.
Graphics: Perfection. Enemies, locations, vehicles, all had a strong and evocative design, from the top down fully realized. 5.
Sound: The best score in video games easily since Silent Hill 2, although some NPC chatter can be inane, and the Male Shepherd voice-actor, while not bad, is demonstrably worse than the female one. 4.
Controls: Slick use of all the buttons on the controller, though the menu system is abysmal. 4.
Tilt: This is a sci-fi epic, and I have never had an experience as glued-to-the-screen fantastic as the last three hours of this game, a rollercoaster of epic proportions. 5.
Overall (not an average): Tendrils' Top Pick.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The Club
The Club
The Club is the most ambitious shmup of all time. Or possibly the most creative third-person shooter of 2008. The basic premise is that shmups don't have to be horizontally-scrolling with spaceship sprites to be called a shmup. The Club takes all the conventions of R-Type, Ikaruga and DoDon Pachi and instead applies them to a "Most Dangerous Game" storyline with gritty and worn-down environments.
In an FPS, you'd be able to dispatch a few enemies and then stop to appreciate the work that's gone into these pretty-nice-looking backgrounds and environments. But that sort of thinking belongs in another a game - The Club only cares about one thing, the constantly-draining score multiplier. You take one of your over-the-top caricatures of killers through the cunningly designed on-rails paths, using whatever weapons are available to mow down endless mooks in search of the ultimate combo kill, using fancy moves, death rolls and the tagging of hidden skull icons to keep your precious, precious meter full to the brim.
There's a visceralness to the game, as the grinding soundtrack, grunts and heaves of straining enemies and crunches and crashes of shattered entryways and windows as you make your way through a level. Apparently the Announcer from Unreal Tournament was on vacation, as announcements such as "Penetrator" and "Rico-SLAY!!" are exulted upon your avatar for shooting people through walls or bouncing bullets off of surfaces into their brainpans.
There's a few balance issues, as certain guns are more than useless since 99% of the time the various SMGs available are always going to be the best weapon for the job. Characters have three stats, but they all play almost identically unless your choice has the most extreme splits in statistics, so realistically the only thing that matters is which character's appearance you prefer.
While not necessarily the greatest game of the year, especially in the same year as Dead Space, GTA IV and other luminaries, this game is certainly the most ambitious title of the year, mashing up third-person tactical shooters, classic shmup play and a dash of arcade racing into The Club. The constant yearning to beat your last high score will always be there, offering infinite replayability even though the online community has dwindled.
Graphics: Travel to interesting, varied locales, meet highly-detailed enemies and environments... and kill them all, with style. 4.
Sound: Over-the-top announcer voices never get old, and the grimy scenery is matched with appropriate screams and crashes. 3.
Controls: A slight stutterstep, some placements of buttons are cumbersome, and the game feels like it should have a cover system that it lacks. 2.
Tilt: Great, trashy fun with a good amount of replayability. 4.
Overall (not an average): 3.
The Club is the most ambitious shmup of all time. Or possibly the most creative third-person shooter of 2008. The basic premise is that shmups don't have to be horizontally-scrolling with spaceship sprites to be called a shmup. The Club takes all the conventions of R-Type, Ikaruga and DoDon Pachi and instead applies them to a "Most Dangerous Game" storyline with gritty and worn-down environments.
In an FPS, you'd be able to dispatch a few enemies and then stop to appreciate the work that's gone into these pretty-nice-looking backgrounds and environments. But that sort of thinking belongs in another a game - The Club only cares about one thing, the constantly-draining score multiplier. You take one of your over-the-top caricatures of killers through the cunningly designed on-rails paths, using whatever weapons are available to mow down endless mooks in search of the ultimate combo kill, using fancy moves, death rolls and the tagging of hidden skull icons to keep your precious, precious meter full to the brim.
There's a visceralness to the game, as the grinding soundtrack, grunts and heaves of straining enemies and crunches and crashes of shattered entryways and windows as you make your way through a level. Apparently the Announcer from Unreal Tournament was on vacation, as announcements such as "Penetrator" and "Rico-SLAY!!" are exulted upon your avatar for shooting people through walls or bouncing bullets off of surfaces into their brainpans.
There's a few balance issues, as certain guns are more than useless since 99% of the time the various SMGs available are always going to be the best weapon for the job. Characters have three stats, but they all play almost identically unless your choice has the most extreme splits in statistics, so realistically the only thing that matters is which character's appearance you prefer.
While not necessarily the greatest game of the year, especially in the same year as Dead Space, GTA IV and other luminaries, this game is certainly the most ambitious title of the year, mashing up third-person tactical shooters, classic shmup play and a dash of arcade racing into The Club. The constant yearning to beat your last high score will always be there, offering infinite replayability even though the online community has dwindled.
Graphics: Travel to interesting, varied locales, meet highly-detailed enemies and environments... and kill them all, with style. 4.
Sound: Over-the-top announcer voices never get old, and the grimy scenery is matched with appropriate screams and crashes. 3.
Controls: A slight stutterstep, some placements of buttons are cumbersome, and the game feels like it should have a cover system that it lacks. 2.
Tilt: Great, trashy fun with a good amount of replayability. 4.
Overall (not an average): 3.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
BLITZ The League: II
BLITZ The League: II
Let's get a list of reasons to play BLITZ II out of the way:
Let's get a list of reasons to play BLITZ II out of the way:
- Can't get enough medicine-based minigames from Trauma Center, and want to jam a giant goddamned syringe into your own hand to heal yourself when your fingers all get shredded by somebody's cleat
- Like to do the Randy Moss "We Whipt Dey Ass" endzone celebration when you don't input the right celebration move (ie the real celebration is more hilarious)
- Enjoy managing heat levels based on which supplements of varying levels of legalities to juice your apparently helpless teammates with
- Want to hear Hall of Fame Linebacker Lawrence Taylor say "What the fuck do you want?"
- Get to gamble on and fix your own games (theoretically you can choose not to, but I didn't want to cross the mob in this game. This football game.)
- Hear a crowd chant "BULL - SHIT!", ECW style if the game becomes a blowout
- After a dirty hit to knock a guy down, curbstomp him into the mud and call him a stupid motherfucker. No really, the line is "C'mon, get up you stupid- *stomp* - mutha - *stomp* - fucka! - *stomp*"
If any of those activities sound like fun, Blitz II is for you. It is pure arcadey football, playground rules and late hits everywhere, along with horrifying, horrifying injuries, the bloodiest and most disturbing you will ever see. All the while, the game charms you with its adorably horrible characters fighting and yelling at each other. Blitz II isn't just the anti-Madden, it's the cure for Madden.
There is literally nothing not to like about this game, unless you are a football purist. Its play is quick and the bullet-time-like "CLASH PLAYS" make you feel suitably like a badass. The character creation mode is a breath of fresh air in a world of stale slider bars and pregen faces, completely eschewing your character's appearance in exchange for defining his personality. The other teams' intro movies are frequently laugh-out-loud funny, and the game takes itself not at all seriously (the star DE for Philadelphia is, of course, a fan who liked to fight so much in the stands the team offered him a contract). This is a great game to kick back and have fun with, and realize that video games are supposed to be fun, after all.
Graphics: Everything is suitably dingy and disgusting where it should be, but a nagging shinyness to surfaces looks to be the vestiges of a failed design concept 4.
Sound: Voicework is funny, but in the end nothing here really stands out. 2.
Controls: Occasionally the responses to your inputs are counterintuitive, and your avatar will do something you didn't intend. 3.
Tilt: It's what a arcadey football game should be, a violent, degrading, hilariously un-PC experience. 5.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
BioShock
BioShock
It's hard to write a review of BioShock. Not because it is such a bad game that I couldn't make it through, or even because it is so good as to be flawless, just because so much ink has already been spilled on it. The limitations of writing about a game every single day while not being part of a media establishment that receives new games constantly has brought me to this.
BioShock is a first-person shooter, in the loosest sense, with several unique features, but most importantly is the story and writing, which are sharp, deep and much-discussed. But for me, it was the sound design and polish that totally drew me into the game.
The tiny visual cues, creaks and moans of a decaying undersea world really sold the game to me as almost a survival-horror experience, and even on Normal, when I rarely ran out of ammo or faced death, I found myself terrified to go around corners, listening to the inmates all around me running the asylum.
While much of the game is nonsensical (steam-powered chainguns with visual recognition devices in the 50's? Floating in midair while you hack cameras?), there's so many tiny little touches that completely immerse you in the game. It is far and away the game experience to have in 2007, so much so that we are still talking about it in 2008.
There are large swaths of the game that do not ever have to be explored to complete it, yet some of the most powerful moments are contained therein. In one section of Neptune's Bounty, we find a pair of near-mummified corpses on a bed, surrounded by open bottles of pills. A nearby audio recording details their grisly and tragic end, yet this section, full of original art assets and scripted events, is completely inacessible without working to find the unmarked secret entrance to the room. Why waste resources on this scene? Because BioShock is so wholly realized, so completely imagined it is more than the sum of its parts, which is why it rightly deserves the title of "Game of the Year."
Why much ballyhoo has been made of its relatively short length (less than ten hours from start to finish) and lack of multiplayer, I can't imagine it being any longer without beginning to drag, and multiplayer deathmatch would be an abomination, destroying the mystery and mystique of visiting Rapture by reducing it to specced loudouts and "nubby combo bxr" cries. Less is more, in this case.
Graphics: Perfect. Beautiful backgrounds and detailed effects, with fantastic water and finally real-looking fire. 5.
Sound: Eminently creepy. Disturbing and evocative, even without a real score. 5.
Controls: Nothing groundbreaking, but get the job done. Competency is the order of the day. 4.
Tilt: It's not Game of the Year for nothing. 5.
Overall (not an average): 5
It's hard to write a review of BioShock. Not because it is such a bad game that I couldn't make it through, or even because it is so good as to be flawless, just because so much ink has already been spilled on it. The limitations of writing about a game every single day while not being part of a media establishment that receives new games constantly has brought me to this.
BioShock is a first-person shooter, in the loosest sense, with several unique features, but most importantly is the story and writing, which are sharp, deep and much-discussed. But for me, it was the sound design and polish that totally drew me into the game.
The tiny visual cues, creaks and moans of a decaying undersea world really sold the game to me as almost a survival-horror experience, and even on Normal, when I rarely ran out of ammo or faced death, I found myself terrified to go around corners, listening to the inmates all around me running the asylum.
While much of the game is nonsensical (steam-powered chainguns with visual recognition devices in the 50's? Floating in midair while you hack cameras?), there's so many tiny little touches that completely immerse you in the game. It is far and away the game experience to have in 2007, so much so that we are still talking about it in 2008.
There are large swaths of the game that do not ever have to be explored to complete it, yet some of the most powerful moments are contained therein. In one section of Neptune's Bounty, we find a pair of near-mummified corpses on a bed, surrounded by open bottles of pills. A nearby audio recording details their grisly and tragic end, yet this section, full of original art assets and scripted events, is completely inacessible without working to find the unmarked secret entrance to the room. Why waste resources on this scene? Because BioShock is so wholly realized, so completely imagined it is more than the sum of its parts, which is why it rightly deserves the title of "Game of the Year."
Why much ballyhoo has been made of its relatively short length (less than ten hours from start to finish) and lack of multiplayer, I can't imagine it being any longer without beginning to drag, and multiplayer deathmatch would be an abomination, destroying the mystery and mystique of visiting Rapture by reducing it to specced loudouts and "nubby combo bxr" cries. Less is more, in this case.
Graphics: Perfect. Beautiful backgrounds and detailed effects, with fantastic water and finally real-looking fire. 5.
Sound: Eminently creepy. Disturbing and evocative, even without a real score. 5.
Controls: Nothing groundbreaking, but get the job done. Competency is the order of the day. 4.
Tilt: It's not Game of the Year for nothing. 5.
Overall (not an average): 5
Monday, March 1, 2010
Shadowrun
Shadowrun
Shadowrun is an interesting case study in why the "Holy Grail" of PC vs Console gaming is a fraud. As one of a few titles that supports cross-platform play (and incidentally, one of the same few titles that allows online play using an XBL silver account), Shadowrun steps into almost every pitfall of the experiment, and is worse for it.
The idea is solid - take PC darling Counterstrike, add in the mythos of a popular cyberpunk RPG/franchise, and make something unique. It certainly is. The game looks great, even by today's standards, and has all the quirks that blending a "trolls and machineguns" RPG with everyone's favorite vent blocking simulator should have. The "powers" you can get in your loadout are awesome and several are really unique and haven't been done since. It has a (rather ingenious) way of getting around Counterstrike's "Welp, you're dead, wait 6 minutes doing nothing until next round" issue.
The problem, as with most things, is the players. Shadowrun as a gameplay experience has a learning curve like a brick wall, and it appeals in conceit to a very small subset of very hardcore players, who have in the two years since this game's release, become very, very good at it. Combine this with an unforgiving damage system and the fact that half of the players effectively have aimbots on due to the increased accuracy of KB+M versus a gamepad, and it quickly becomes apparent why this game was unsuccessful.
Which isn't to say it's an unfun game, far from it. It's a lot of fun, you just have to set yourself up for it - which means not joining pubbie games or trying to play in "the community." This game is inexpensive enough that all your friends either have or can easily acquire a copy, at which point playing 5v5 or more with all humans vs all AI bots on "Very Hard" is great fun. You can even contribute to a team without a headset, thanks to another bit of subtle brilliance in using the D-Pad to issue status updates and requests.
Graphics: Very good. Stylized character models and a great eye for interesting level design. 4.
Sound: The weapons and spells all sound great, but the characters could have more personality. 3.
Controls: Intuitive, with tons of nice touches. 4.
Tilt: Impossible to play with the public at large, but a fun distraction or "time-killer" game with friends. 2.
Overall (not an average): 2.
Shadowrun is an interesting case study in why the "Holy Grail" of PC vs Console gaming is a fraud. As one of a few titles that supports cross-platform play (and incidentally, one of the same few titles that allows online play using an XBL silver account), Shadowrun steps into almost every pitfall of the experiment, and is worse for it.
The idea is solid - take PC darling Counterstrike, add in the mythos of a popular cyberpunk RPG/franchise, and make something unique. It certainly is. The game looks great, even by today's standards, and has all the quirks that blending a "trolls and machineguns" RPG with everyone's favorite vent blocking simulator should have. The "powers" you can get in your loadout are awesome and several are really unique and haven't been done since. It has a (rather ingenious) way of getting around Counterstrike's "Welp, you're dead, wait 6 minutes doing nothing until next round" issue.
The problem, as with most things, is the players. Shadowrun as a gameplay experience has a learning curve like a brick wall, and it appeals in conceit to a very small subset of very hardcore players, who have in the two years since this game's release, become very, very good at it. Combine this with an unforgiving damage system and the fact that half of the players effectively have aimbots on due to the increased accuracy of KB+M versus a gamepad, and it quickly becomes apparent why this game was unsuccessful.
Which isn't to say it's an unfun game, far from it. It's a lot of fun, you just have to set yourself up for it - which means not joining pubbie games or trying to play in "the community." This game is inexpensive enough that all your friends either have or can easily acquire a copy, at which point playing 5v5 or more with all humans vs all AI bots on "Very Hard" is great fun. You can even contribute to a team without a headset, thanks to another bit of subtle brilliance in using the D-Pad to issue status updates and requests.
Graphics: Very good. Stylized character models and a great eye for interesting level design. 4.
Sound: The weapons and spells all sound great, but the characters could have more personality. 3.
Controls: Intuitive, with tons of nice touches. 4.
Tilt: Impossible to play with the public at large, but a fun distraction or "time-killer" game with friends. 2.
Overall (not an average): 2.
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