Ninja Blade

Ninja Blade

From Software's title Metal Wolf Chaos from a few years back had a little bit of a cult following due to the sheer absurdity of the plot - Aliens attack, so the President of America gets in his Mech Walker and shoots missles at them on the Washington Mall. Ninja Blade is a verrrry loose sequel (it's more a case of taking place in the same universe), where you are a ninja and also a member of a military special ops team who parachutes into Japan to fight giant mutated zombies using blade boomerangs that shoot fire when you're not manning a helicopter minigun.

If that sounds a little insane, you've got the right idea. From set out to make a game that plays like a balls-out action movie, and it straight-up delivers. Ninja Blade doesn't play around with twisting storylines or romantic subplots, nor are they particularly interested in character progression. The game is all about setpieces - and boy does it have some amazing ones.

Mechanically, the game is almost a clone of the God of War series - you use a variety of weapons to beat up mooks, get orbs, upgrade your gear and advance through the level. It does a good job of making movement a priority, making you feel suitably ninja-like as you swing across rooftops and wall-run with the best of them. The monsters look freaked out and suitably gross, and you have several customization options for your own character's appearance (which are carried over in cutscenes, thankfully).

The reason to buy a ticket for this particular ride, however, is the boss battles. If you've played the first hour of God of War II, you have a good idea what "epic battle against giant opponent" is like. But Ninja Blade blows that fight out of the water. The moment you fall in love with this game is when you are fighting a giant snail, who vomits the contents of a parking lot at you while you're in midair. You then fly down to a motorcycle, start it up and proceed to drive down the backs of other cars as they're thrown at you before hitting the snail with the motorcycle just as you throw a shuriken at the gas tank.

Basically, Ninja Blade asks the question, "Would a 14 year old boy think this was awesome?" and if the answer is "No," they leave it out of the game. It's a constant game of one-upsmanship that always leaves you smiling. Ninja Blade doesn't tackle any elements of the human condition; it knows what it is and does it very, very well.

It doesn't have the legs that an RPG or online fighter/shooter has in terms of replayability, and seeing the monster a second time when you're replaying a level for a time attack score lacks its initial punch, but the ride that is Ninja Blade is well worth the time you invest in it.

Graphics: Acceptable. The creature design is stellar, though the levels have a lot of "sameness" 4.
Sound: The weapons go whoosh and clink, and the monsters groan, but it isn't anything that stands out, for good or bad. 3.
Controls: The game piles a lot of options and it turns into a finger-contorting Simon once you're fully-powered. 3.
Tilt: Just fun as hell. A short ride, but time-attack modes gives it some replay value. You'll have a smile on your face start to finish. 5.
Overall (not an average): 4.