Sneak King
Given the tragedy of Yaris as an adverware disaster, you have to give Burger King credit for making their charming trilogy of games, and the best of the three is undoubtably Sneak King. The game is pretty straightforward: There are hungry people out there, you are the Burger King, go give them food. But don't get caught!
The game is $3, so you really can't expect much, but it does have its moments. There are three unique areas, full of marginally-interactive environmental events and hungry people. The graphics are honestly not that bad, as good as a mid-range PS2 game, and the missions (while all obviously based around delivering food) have challenges that are varied enough that the game doesn't get more stale than the one-note stealth game it already is.
The main complaint here is the camera, which is non-intuitive and you will find yourself fighting with it far more than the hungry denizens of Cul-de-Sac, Mill or Construction Site. This is overcome by the absolutely ridiculous animations for surprise deliveries and the administration of Whoppers and Chicken Fries. There's enough Dadaist humor here to overcome every complaint except the shallowness of the gameplay.
A school of thought goes thusly: People are stupid, but like to think they are smart. Sneak King grasps this conceit totally, and instead of trying to subtly work in Burger King references, goes in the entire opposite direction, becoming so blantant and obvious that people will think themselves clever as they mutter "Ha ha, they think they are advertising, but I see through their tricks." And thus, the subvertisement occurs in earnest.
Graphics: Nothing fancy. Backgrounds are generic and there are few characters in the world. 2.
Sound: Weak to nonexistant. Audio cues are distinct, but that's about it. 2.
Controls: The game's shortcoming. You'll fight with a camera that is unnecessarily free-floating as you deliver food to the masses. 1.
Tilt: The overexuberance of the hungry and the ambient creepyness of the King lend a certain charm to the game. 3.
Overall (not an average): 2
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Bully: Scholarship Edition
Bully: Scholarship Edition
Grand Theft Auto has assumed the mantle of "It's like X, but..." when describing games nowadays. Everything has to have the free-roaming, beat up anything, drive anything mentality to be a proper sandbox game, and yet most games fall on the wayside, championed by a few diehards while the main GTA franchise continues on unopposed. Not suprisingly, the most compelling GTA clone to come out in the last eight years was by GTA's developer, RockStar, and their "GTA, but in Boarding School" offering Bully. The version reviewed here is the much-improved Scholarship Edition, which uses the upgraded power of the 360 to touch up character models, sweeten backgrounds and increase draw distance.
What Rockstar did in Bully, though, was craft a great narrative. While they've always told stories, Bully pulls you through Jimmy's life as he tries to get by and earn the respect of his classmates, and with a unique and more importantly relevant timer/clock, and required missions, the game leads you through the sordid and Lord of the Flies-esque world of high school, and does it in an incisive and very funny series of missions.
The controls are standard fare for a Rockstar sandbox game; you'll recognize the configurations instantly and that level of familiarity makes actually playing the game relaxing. Music cues and dozens of unique voice actors are suitably distinctive and juvenile, and the game puts a lot of stress on not making itself so open that you feel lost. Missions have structure and fall organically into each other.
Bully is, most of all, funny. It has laugh-out-loud moments and is full of heart. The game will ring true to anyone who went through high school as an outcast, and the sweet satisfaction of the main story's resolution, despite the deus ex machina denoumont, will leave you smiling to yourself. The game does have shortcomings, though: Most alternate weapons in the game will be used solely to get their related achievements and then filed away. Collect-a-thons are back, unfortunately, a yoke Rockstar seems to never be able to get off its back, but thankfully escort missions are few and far between. No quick-warp between the world's four areas is a major letdown, as there's nothing to see in its "loading tunnels," and load screens are still present from time to time.
Graphics: Not the prettiest ever, but certainly competent for such a broad and deep game. 4.
Sound: The voice acting of the main character and the variations on the main theme are all fantastic. 4.
Controls: Breaks no new ground, but doesn't trip itself up with obscure configurations either. 3.
Tilt: Great story and acting come together in an idealized, predatory boarding school to paint a bitterly sarcastic take on growing up. 4.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Grand Theft Auto has assumed the mantle of "It's like X, but..." when describing games nowadays. Everything has to have the free-roaming, beat up anything, drive anything mentality to be a proper sandbox game, and yet most games fall on the wayside, championed by a few diehards while the main GTA franchise continues on unopposed. Not suprisingly, the most compelling GTA clone to come out in the last eight years was by GTA's developer, RockStar, and their "GTA, but in Boarding School" offering Bully. The version reviewed here is the much-improved Scholarship Edition, which uses the upgraded power of the 360 to touch up character models, sweeten backgrounds and increase draw distance.
What Rockstar did in Bully, though, was craft a great narrative. While they've always told stories, Bully pulls you through Jimmy's life as he tries to get by and earn the respect of his classmates, and with a unique and more importantly relevant timer/clock, and required missions, the game leads you through the sordid and Lord of the Flies-esque world of high school, and does it in an incisive and very funny series of missions.
The controls are standard fare for a Rockstar sandbox game; you'll recognize the configurations instantly and that level of familiarity makes actually playing the game relaxing. Music cues and dozens of unique voice actors are suitably distinctive and juvenile, and the game puts a lot of stress on not making itself so open that you feel lost. Missions have structure and fall organically into each other.
Bully is, most of all, funny. It has laugh-out-loud moments and is full of heart. The game will ring true to anyone who went through high school as an outcast, and the sweet satisfaction of the main story's resolution, despite the deus ex machina denoumont, will leave you smiling to yourself. The game does have shortcomings, though: Most alternate weapons in the game will be used solely to get their related achievements and then filed away. Collect-a-thons are back, unfortunately, a yoke Rockstar seems to never be able to get off its back, but thankfully escort missions are few and far between. No quick-warp between the world's four areas is a major letdown, as there's nothing to see in its "loading tunnels," and load screens are still present from time to time.
Graphics: Not the prettiest ever, but certainly competent for such a broad and deep game. 4.
Sound: The voice acting of the main character and the variations on the main theme are all fantastic. 4.
Controls: Breaks no new ground, but doesn't trip itself up with obscure configurations either. 3.
Tilt: Great story and acting come together in an idealized, predatory boarding school to paint a bitterly sarcastic take on growing up. 4.
Overall (not an average): 4.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
King Kong
Peter Jackson's King Kong the Official Game of the Movie
I guess it isn't really fair to label this game an abomination. For its time, as basically a launch title for the 360, it does sport some impressive character models, not-atrocious acting, and it certainly has moments of greatness.
But, from the ludicrous full title on down, this game is a mish-mash of missed opportunities, poor design and outright bad play. The death knell to the game comes from the moment the first cut scene ends and you assume control of your player-character... and it isn't Kong. This game features completely straight-forward play, the worst of the worst in on-rails first-person action, with the occasional "get red key, open red door" action. The backgrounds are an endless sea of re-used backgrounds and flora, the worst I've seen since the Library in Halo. The game has survival elements in that you have to conserve ammuntion because the endless rib-bones available are more than useless (they cause no melee damage, only when thrown), but some enemies are mysteriously invincible to bullets and can only be hurt by native weaponry. Then again, every few stages your skillfully stored-up ammunition is all stripped from you, so why bother saving ammo?
The game becomes absolutely fantastic the moment you gain control of King Kong, though, offering a smorgasboard of racing-style tree swinging chases and brutal, violent combat (V-Rex assassinations are particularly satisfying), but you almost don't want to fight the bosses because it means you're about to return to playing as Jack, the worthless human. You're left wondering why the whole game didn't just eschew the humans and go for "GTA: Skull Island."
The controls are painfully slow: you walk at a snail's pace, you turn even slower, the unintuitive buttons are mapped badly and not adjustable. The gunplay is uninspired, hit location irrelevant, and melee nonexistant. The complaint that it is little more than an interactive movie is very apt; there's very little in the way of overarching goals or multiple paths to solve a puzzle, though occasionally you can brute-force a solution instead of following instructions, though this occasionally will cause the NPCs to ignore the trigger to advance the plot.
All these complaints ignore the most important detractor: length. This game is 6 hours long, with next to zero replayability (though a welcome level-select screen did allow me to replay the Kong chase scene, which again is really the highlight of the title). As a $60 title, this would leave a terrible taste in mouth; thank God it was only a GameFly rental for me.
Graphics: Backgrounds and common enemies are repetitive, but Kong himself looks great, as do most NPCs. 2.
Sound: Mostly absent. Appropriate hisses and rustles abound, but it's unmemorable. 2.
Controls: Atrocious. Everything is slow and plodding, and you're either button-mashing (Kong stages) or endlessly fighting a slow-moving, slow-turning Jack. 1.
Tilt: It's just like the Peter Jackson movie: Long, boring, occasionally aggrivating, with a few awesome scenes mixed in. 1.
Overall (not an average): 1.
I guess it isn't really fair to label this game an abomination. For its time, as basically a launch title for the 360, it does sport some impressive character models, not-atrocious acting, and it certainly has moments of greatness.
But, from the ludicrous full title on down, this game is a mish-mash of missed opportunities, poor design and outright bad play. The death knell to the game comes from the moment the first cut scene ends and you assume control of your player-character... and it isn't Kong. This game features completely straight-forward play, the worst of the worst in on-rails first-person action, with the occasional "get red key, open red door" action. The backgrounds are an endless sea of re-used backgrounds and flora, the worst I've seen since the Library in Halo. The game has survival elements in that you have to conserve ammuntion because the endless rib-bones available are more than useless (they cause no melee damage, only when thrown), but some enemies are mysteriously invincible to bullets and can only be hurt by native weaponry. Then again, every few stages your skillfully stored-up ammunition is all stripped from you, so why bother saving ammo?
The game becomes absolutely fantastic the moment you gain control of King Kong, though, offering a smorgasboard of racing-style tree swinging chases and brutal, violent combat (V-Rex assassinations are particularly satisfying), but you almost don't want to fight the bosses because it means you're about to return to playing as Jack, the worthless human. You're left wondering why the whole game didn't just eschew the humans and go for "GTA: Skull Island."
The controls are painfully slow: you walk at a snail's pace, you turn even slower, the unintuitive buttons are mapped badly and not adjustable. The gunplay is uninspired, hit location irrelevant, and melee nonexistant. The complaint that it is little more than an interactive movie is very apt; there's very little in the way of overarching goals or multiple paths to solve a puzzle, though occasionally you can brute-force a solution instead of following instructions, though this occasionally will cause the NPCs to ignore the trigger to advance the plot.
All these complaints ignore the most important detractor: length. This game is 6 hours long, with next to zero replayability (though a welcome level-select screen did allow me to replay the Kong chase scene, which again is really the highlight of the title). As a $60 title, this would leave a terrible taste in mouth; thank God it was only a GameFly rental for me.
Graphics: Backgrounds and common enemies are repetitive, but Kong himself looks great, as do most NPCs. 2.
Sound: Mostly absent. Appropriate hisses and rustles abound, but it's unmemorable. 2.
Controls: Atrocious. Everything is slow and plodding, and you're either button-mashing (Kong stages) or endlessly fighting a slow-moving, slow-turning Jack. 1.
Tilt: It's just like the Peter Jackson movie: Long, boring, occasionally aggrivating, with a few awesome scenes mixed in. 1.
Overall (not an average): 1.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Mass Effect
Mass Effect
Remember all that stuff I said yesterday about StarCon 2? Yeah, Mass Effect blows it out of the water on almost every level.
As Commander Shephard, you use your unique skill set to bring a rogue cop to justice and eventually save the galaxy from a threat beyond time. Along the way, you make some friends, make more enemies, and learn more about Krogan testicles than you probably wanted to. Saren, a galactic James Bond-type, has gone missing and stolen some pretty valuable information, information you too accidentally came into posession of, a warning of doom from beyond. The race is on from the very first scene in the game to save the galaxy, though the shape of that galaxy once the major crisis is averted is up to you and your actions entirely.
First, here's everything that's wrong with Mass Effect: Needless wandering across planets in a difficult-to-control MAKO all-terrain tank, squadmates that require constant supervision, an occasional chugging framerate, repetitive "dungeon" assets and a storyline that honestly isn't all that branching, compared to Star Control II.
I'll address these in turn:
Remember all that stuff I said yesterday about StarCon 2? Yeah, Mass Effect blows it out of the water on almost every level.
As Commander Shephard, you use your unique skill set to bring a rogue cop to justice and eventually save the galaxy from a threat beyond time. Along the way, you make some friends, make more enemies, and learn more about Krogan testicles than you probably wanted to. Saren, a galactic James Bond-type, has gone missing and stolen some pretty valuable information, information you too accidentally came into posession of, a warning of doom from beyond. The race is on from the very first scene in the game to save the galaxy, though the shape of that galaxy once the major crisis is averted is up to you and your actions entirely.
First, here's everything that's wrong with Mass Effect: Needless wandering across planets in a difficult-to-control MAKO all-terrain tank, squadmates that require constant supervision, an occasional chugging framerate, repetitive "dungeon" assets and a storyline that honestly isn't all that branching, compared to Star Control II.
I'll address these in turn:
- I personally loved the MAKO sections and running across the different planet types. With hundreds of detailed descriptions on everything, there's so much going on it's ridiculous. Planets have their own identity, even minor ones with little or no quest-related activities.
- Your squadmates are actually a lot more competent than people give them credit for- Mass Effect is the first game ever that I felt comfortable letting my teammate operate a sniper rifle on.
- The chugging framerate is the price for such a dazzlingly beautiful game; Mass Effect is what people mean when they say "next-gen game." There's so much going on, with so much intricate detail the game occasionally simply demands you stop a second and just take it all in.
- The repetitive "dungeons" I thought were sufficiently explained by the economies of standardization that would be required for any sort of interstellar colonization, and besides any "storyline-centric" planets got their own, fully-realized designs.
- The non-branching storyline is due to Mass Effect being the first of a planned trilogy, and now that the engine and many art assets are already banked, the sequel should be beyond fantastic.
The music is so far beyond anything we've had in games before; it's evocative of Vangelis (composers of the Blade Runner soundtrack) as well as the brooding of more menacing sci-fi films like Aliens and Life Force. Each area has its own permutations, but like a great opera, they all tie into the main theme.
Gameplay-wise, it's a testament to the game's quality that the only bad things people have to say are about bugs, which are present in every game, and far from game-crippling in this one. It's so easy to get lost in this game, running around, visiting with people who have interesting tidbits of information for you, none of which is integral to the plot. I've spent hours in the Codec just reading the various entries into species' histories and triumphs.
Combat in this game is satisfyingly visceral, and there is a real learning curve to it. Fortunately, right around the time you get the hang of it on your first playthrough, you become an unstoppable killing machine assuming you're paying attention and specializing your squadmates for their normal roles.
I'd like to take a quick aside here and bemoan the death of the Instruction Manual. With the notable and thankful exception of RockStar games, the art of a well-crafted, in-universe and evocative instruction manual that comes packaged with a game has fallen by the wayside, and in this case, it's a glaring omission. Most times, a game has a ham-handed tutorial shoehorned into the first half-hour of gameplay; Mass Effect does nothing of the kind, and without a manual that really breaks down your options, most common complaints I've seen of the game are from players who don't know how to wring the most from it. Mass Effect is ironically one of the tighter and more interesting squad-based third person shooters out there, despite being firmly in the RPG camp.
I sunk more hours into this game than any other in all of 2007; it really was simply the best thing you can possibly play on the system up until the release of Fallout 3. The ending was suitably satisfying, whether you were playing as a paragon saving the universe or a renegade just getting by and surviving the best s/he can.
Graphics: Perfection. Enemies, locations, vehicles, all had a strong and evocative design, from the top down fully realized. 5.
Sound: The best score in video games easily since Silent Hill 2, although some NPC chatter can be inane, and the Male Shepherd voice-actor, while not bad, is demonstrably worse than the female one. 4.
Controls: Slick use of all the buttons on the controller, though the menu system is abysmal. 4.
Tilt: This is a sci-fi epic, and I have never had an experience as glued-to-the-screen fantastic as the last three hours of this game, a rollercoaster of epic proportions. 5.
Overall (not an average): Tendrils' Top Pick.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Star Control II
Star Control II
There's a definite rose-colored tintings in effect for a lot of games journalism. The medium is so young that its main proponents were impressionable kids when playing some of the seminal classics that informed a generation of game designers. While by no means "bad games," some of the classics do not hold up to scrutiny by today's standards, even adjusting for hardware limitations.
Star Control II is most emphatically not one of those games. It is fan-fucking-tastic.
It starts out fairly generic- the pride of a human science outpost on Vela V returning home to find Earth enslaved, with you being the last, best hope for rescue. And then the game goes blank on hints. Explore nearby stars, pick up hints, and wander your way through the entire galaxy, meeting new races and either befriending or blasting them to smithereens.
While the graphics hold up - barely - today, the sound is what makes the game. Each race has its own musical cues, unique voice and speaking style, each gloriously realized with full voice acting and a chiptunes score to go along with it that reinforces each race's unique outlook on the galaxy.
As an RPG, much of the control issues are bypassed, since there are very few moments where precision maneuvering is asked of the player, though space combat can be depressingly brutal as the AI never has issues with using the cumbersome keyboard to preform what would be child's play on a modern game system's control pad.
Standing on the cusp of the graphics arms-race that is the last 15 years of gaming, looking fondly back towards unforgiving, open-ended 'watch it, berk!' text adventures, Star Control II expertly straddles the line and delivers the most complete storyline experience ever. Not "one of," not "possibly the greatest," this game earns its accolades as the pinnacle of storytelling in games. Your actions have a real, definable effect on the world around you - you can raise or raze whole species by your actions, or your inactions. The tragic villians are some of the most wholly realised in video game history, and make for fabulous antagonists to spur you on to adventure.
Graphics: Rough. The character models are great, but with only three total frames of animation it can leave you wanting. 3.
Sound: Top-notch. Music, voice-acting and ambient scores are all evocative and great. 5.
Controls: Competent for an RPG, but the combat sections feel gimped. 3.
Tilt: You'll never play in a universe more dynamic or predicated on your actions. 5.
Overall (not an average): Tendrils' Top Pick
There's a definite rose-colored tintings in effect for a lot of games journalism. The medium is so young that its main proponents were impressionable kids when playing some of the seminal classics that informed a generation of game designers. While by no means "bad games," some of the classics do not hold up to scrutiny by today's standards, even adjusting for hardware limitations.
Star Control II is most emphatically not one of those games. It is fan-fucking-tastic.
It starts out fairly generic- the pride of a human science outpost on Vela V returning home to find Earth enslaved, with you being the last, best hope for rescue. And then the game goes blank on hints. Explore nearby stars, pick up hints, and wander your way through the entire galaxy, meeting new races and either befriending or blasting them to smithereens.
While the graphics hold up - barely - today, the sound is what makes the game. Each race has its own musical cues, unique voice and speaking style, each gloriously realized with full voice acting and a chiptunes score to go along with it that reinforces each race's unique outlook on the galaxy.
As an RPG, much of the control issues are bypassed, since there are very few moments where precision maneuvering is asked of the player, though space combat can be depressingly brutal as the AI never has issues with using the cumbersome keyboard to preform what would be child's play on a modern game system's control pad.
Standing on the cusp of the graphics arms-race that is the last 15 years of gaming, looking fondly back towards unforgiving, open-ended 'watch it, berk!' text adventures, Star Control II expertly straddles the line and delivers the most complete storyline experience ever. Not "one of," not "possibly the greatest," this game earns its accolades as the pinnacle of storytelling in games. Your actions have a real, definable effect on the world around you - you can raise or raze whole species by your actions, or your inactions. The tragic villians are some of the most wholly realised in video game history, and make for fabulous antagonists to spur you on to adventure.
Graphics: Rough. The character models are great, but with only three total frames of animation it can leave you wanting. 3.
Sound: Top-notch. Music, voice-acting and ambient scores are all evocative and great. 5.
Controls: Competent for an RPG, but the combat sections feel gimped. 3.
Tilt: You'll never play in a universe more dynamic or predicated on your actions. 5.
Overall (not an average): Tendrils' Top Pick
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