TMNT

TMNT

Ahh, a movie tie-in game. Fantastic, time to rip this game a new--what? It's not terrible in every way? Oh, well then I'll slag it down for late-era PS2 graphi-- eh? It's a joy to look at? Well then, time to rip it apart for its piss-easy challenge- what, not going to cut me off? Oh, it does take four hours to finish start-to-end with no replay. Well then.

The new TMNT movie was suprisingly good; not nearly as much so as the original Elias Koteas vehicle (which holds up shockingly well today, especially the puppetry), but an exceptional bright spot on the long, CGI-laden wave of 'kiddy flicks.' The game is no different- it's pleasant enough, above average with a few shameless nods to better games, but does nothing to really make it a hidden gem.

Graphically it moves like a Ninja Gaiden; most of the animations make you feel like a gimped Ryu Hayabusa, which is not the worst thing they could've shot for. There's great subtle color-coded pathing to keep you headed towards the path you need to be on (though it's mostly pointless as unfortunately TMNT is a game world where two-foot high bushes and chain-link fences make effective walls against masters of ninjitsu. The game employs a sort of quasi-cel-shaded effect for the characters, and bears a pretty effective likeness to the movie, which you basically replay over a few hours time.

The sound effects are pretty much canned through-and-through, and while Splinter's occasional voice-over hints are nicely done, the constant angsty internal monologue the turtles keep during gameplay is aggrivating. Music is straight from the movie's soundtrack, with no throwbacks to either the beat-em-up or cartoon that spawned it. This is a game determined to ignore its pedigree.

Controlling the turtles is actually pretty fun the first time through- they have wall-running, sheer-rock-face-climbing and nunchuck-wave-gliding down and it is fun to do. Unfortunately, you'll spend most of your time just holding up and running forward. Absent any real challenge (enemies only spawn at pre-set "Fight Scene" locations), you're left with a long slog through pretty and generally non-repetitive but completely useless hallways.

In the end, with about five hours of boring gameplay, TMNT ends up being a very pretty, very long interactive movie. I heartily recommend watching the new movie, but the new game gets a pass - unless you're an achievement grinder, as every achievement is storyline-based and you will get all 1000G from a single evening's gameplay.

Graphics: The game shines here, the locations are varied and well-integrated with the design ethic. 4.
Sound: Repetitive sword-swings and "hi-ya!"s when you jump get old fast. 1.
Controls: Actually pretty fun, but the lack of a chance to test your skills gimps it. 2.
Tilt: Challenge-free fun. Play it for a night on a rental or GameFly, never think of it again. 1.
Overall (not an average): 1